go here. it's a fun distractor. i'm a wolf!

http://www.reincarnationstation.com/

how i feel

this picture is actually from my birthday in December (eating the delicious four-layer chocolate and cream cheese with oreo cake), but i needed a picture expressing how i felt today! i was wired as soon as i saw becky at chapel today. i got so excited for opening night...and all day i felt like i was on cloud nine. this has been my favorite dordt play, i think because of the small cast. the dynamics are so different with a smaller cast. i look forward to the next 5 performances. for those of you who live around here, you must come see jane eyre if for no other reason than to see a human puppy and a madwoman. and the costumes. and rochester's perm. hmmmm. just come for it all.

just a little bit

Left: Beppe and I playing duets on Christmas Eve (she's amazing)
Below: 100% roomie representation at the junior art show! Yea, Becca and Heather!






i wish...

1. i were a snowman or a penguin, because they are cool
2. i did my devotions more consistently
3. there weren't so many arrogant people
4. i could eat tons of food without paying the consequences
5. i lived in Victorian England, preferably as Elizabeth Bennet
6. the future were more clear
7. i were talented at arranging things
8. i could improve on the guitar
9. i could grow a beard just to keep my face warm when i walk outside in -11 degree weather
10. i wrote songs
11. i could figure myself out
12. i weren't so controlling
13. i could have a functional relationship, period
14. i were a velvety orange rose
15. i could read adolescent literature all day long
16. life wasn't lonely
17. i could spend more time with my brother
18. i weren't out to prove something
19. i didn't do the things i do
20. i appreciated my parents more

the heart has reasons which reason does not understand

i'm sitting here, doing homework on a friday night. i feel like a geek, but i don't mind it. it's nice to be alone and contemplate life through stacks of homework.

sometimes
i need
to get away
from

everything

i'm listening to music that i had pre-judged to be annoying and nasally, but it's growing on me. and i feel ashamed for judging it based on the person (i heart piano). why do i do what i do not want to do? paul, sometimes you make too much sense.

ooh! a survey!

This looked like fun, Nikki!

Four jobs I've had:
1. World's Worst Babysitter
2. Toilet Scrubber at Place #1, 2, 3, and 4
3. Dishwasher in hospital dietary
4. Waitress


Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Pride & Prejudice (A&E version)
2. Back to the Future trilogy
3. Yours, Mine, and Ours (with Lucille Ball)
4. Swiss Family Robinson

Four places I've lived:
1. Edgerton, MN
2. Sioux Center, IA
3. Portland, OR
4. Beijing, China


Four TV shows I love:
1. I Love Lucy
2. That 70's Show
3. House Hunters
4. Clean Sweep


Four places I've vacationed:
1. Portland, OR
2. Phoenix, AR
3. Washington state
4. Frisco and Durango, CO


Four sites I visit daily:
1. DENIS
2. Blogger/Xanga
3. NOAA (weather)
4. Dictionary.com


Four places I would rather be right now:
Well, I'm in Montana right now, but here are others:
1. Portland, OR
2. British Columbia
3. Barnes and Noble
4. Door County, WI

Montana is fun, y'all. I did yoga last night and today I helped Al teach her English class (in a British accent) and I did not die on the extremely turbulent flight from Minneapolis to Missoula. We'll see about the way back.....

one big long scream of release

Why am I posting? I do not have the time to dilly-dally. I have spent the last five days working furiously on my homework so that I am not overwhelmed when I come back from Montana. But tonight I realized that before I leave for Big Sky Country, I have 3 hours of play practice which will be full of newly memorized scenes. Newly memorized? Try "I haven't started memorizing yet!" Send up a prayer for my sanity. Al, see you in 24!

carpe homework!

The blocking for the play is finally done! WHOO-HOO!!!! Today's practice was quite drudgerous, but we slogged through. Now we have to be off book by Thursday.

I'm leaving for Montana on Wednesday, but I'm paying for it. I have mucho to do before I leave so that I don't feel completely overwhelmed when I get back. And now I'm having two coaching sessions with Teresa and Sarah for the play before I go. I don't mind, except that I won't get to eat on Wednesday until I get to Montana. It will be a very long day. But I can't wait to see Al! I think this weekend will totally rock, right, sistuh? (You will have to help me a little with my lines....oh, bugger!)

As a side note: Playing plastic soccer in an obstacle-ridden kitchen with a dancing-queen roommate after a long day of play practice is fun. Full of jollity.

Carpe homework (and get it away from me!)

silly roommates and other enigmas

(weird giggle with Shannon)

I have strange co-inhabitants. Strange yet delightfully fun. The conversation went like this:

Andrea: So much butter.
Heather: I want to lick it or rub it all over my body.

That's just one sample of the insanity over here in D6. No, really....we're normal.

I am finding mucho happiness in this semester. I am discovering how much I enjoy living with people, and my class load is not so overwhelming! Busy, but with less homework than I anticipated. Of course, it's only the third week of classes. I'm enjoying using British dialect for Jane Eyre (and in everyday conversation as well). I'm taking three electives this semester, and I like reading kids' books for homework. I'm visiting Al next weekend, and this picture is just a preview of the fun we're gonna have!

Well, I guess I'll mosey to the library and do some homework. Oh...tomorrow we're getting a bunch of people in our aesthetics class to dress to the nines...surprise, Henderson!

someday joelle will return

Oh, delightful weather! How I love thee! I had a nice chat about the fine weather with the guy from Fareway who carried out my groceries for me. By the way, how cool is the grocery courtesy thing? That's not really a question; it's a vociferous statement with inappropriate punctuation behind it....but if I ended the sentence with an exclamation point, I would get chewed on by my English people.

For supper tonight I made vegetable soup with little letters; mine spelled 'Rob.' I'm not sure what that means, except that it may refer to Sarah's newly acquired pin-up boy. We also had corn, biscuits, and a wet roommate (but we decided to let her go before we ate her. She was grateful).

Newsies! Happy movie! I listened to the soundtrack as I pretended to cook this afternoon. It makes me tap dance.
Pulitzer may own The World but he don't own us!
Pulitzer may crack the whip but he won't whip us!

Joelle was not in class this morning, but she was supposed to be. I'm worried about her...maybe Fargo, North Dakota captured her and will not release her until it receives an exhorbitant amount of beaver pelts for ransom. Be-ey!

Enough sitting around doing nothing except blogsurfing. It is time I go to the library and read about French theatre until 1700 (that's the title, not how long I have to read it. If I had to read until 1700, I would be reading for a very long time). Stupid ambiguous clauses.

blessings

these are the ones for today, in somewhat chronological order:

1. wearing a favorite old comfy shirt
2. sunlit frost on the trees and grass against a bright blue sky
3. reading wonderful books in Children's Lit and discovering in myself a desire to be an artistic child again
4. no theatre class due to ACTF, therefore I got to eat at noon and have a lovely discussion on marital relationships with occupants of D6 and F3
5. remembering the excitement of being an idealistic education student
6. walking quickly to the BJH in wonderful anticipation of playing piano and letting my cares slide away through my fingers
7. giggling with my fellow horns in band and getting complimented on my old comfy shirt
8. eating sticky rice with chili with my roommates (I wasn't eating my roommates, I was eating WITH them...gosh)
9. reading Charlotte's Web...for homework! Dude! How cool is that?
10. feeding my emotional being with Win a Date With Tad Hamilton...I consider myself well fed!
11. having a dad who will bring me my forgotten tennis shoes when I have a soccer game in 10 minutes
12. an amazingly painful yet refreshing game of indoor soccer in which I played keeper and didn't completely suck
13. coming home to roommates that I love!

These are just for today. And I know I left a bunch out. I think I may try to post a thanksgiving list more often so I don't become grumpy in my old age. I hope a list like this will bring a smile to other faces as well.

And now I will stretch before I die of stiffness.

rollercoasters

Do you ever feel used by people? They only become your friends for their own ulterior motives, and when they get what they want, they stop acting like a friend? I would have guessed we would leave these kinds of friendships back in junior high, but here I am, a senior in college, and they are still here, still causing frustration and hurt. Some days I just want to bury myself in bed and never face the world again. But then I have times where I feel connected to others; we understand one another, and even though life can suck, it can be good, too. So we continue to push on through the suckiness.

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on
And we're still fightin' it
We're still fightin' it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry.

I never liked rollercoasters when I was little. I stuck to the carousels...the simple, predictable, and safe round and round. Finally, when I was ten, my aunt and uncle dragged me on the Orient Express at Worlds of Fun. (They regretted it when they saw how green I was on the steep incline before the plunge.) I despised it. And then I avoided roller coasters for years. Once I got to high school, I tried the tamer roller coasters (a few ups and downs, but no corkscrews or twists). I kept wishing that I was brave enough to try the scary ones, but I would chicken out before my friends could get me to the front of the line. Then, when I was 20 years old, I worked up the courage to get on a mountaintop corkscrew rollercoaster in the Smoky Mountains. I screamed "Shit!" the whole time...but I went back three more times before the day was over, reliving the terror of the endless climb, the dark plunge, the flash of light, and the upside-down suspension.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going through life screaming "Shit!" I can only hope it will be worth the ride.

there's gotta be something more

more than school, more than routine, more than competition and callousness. why do we settle for less? we could reach beyond ourselves but we don't. we insist on staying in our own little worlds, content to post meaningless chatter on technological bulletin boards. does anyone really care what is on these posts? they are not worth the trouble they cause. and yet, we hope that people stumble across our words and find something worthwhile and attractive in them. pretense.

i think that's why i love pride and prejudice...it challenges the pretense of character and exposes people for who they really are through time and experience. each time i watch pride and prejudice (the real one), i fall in love with it. elizabeth bennet is unassuming, rational, calm, and collected in everything she says and does. no one walks all over her...she has spunk. yet there is a genuine kindness and intellect in her spirit; she wants to do the right thing. i admire her for being who she is. too bad i can't be as eloquent as jane austen has allowed miss eliza bennett to be:

"Yes, my youngest [sister] is not sixteen. Perhaps she is full young to be much in company. But really, ma'am, I think it would be very hard upon younger sisters, that they should not have their share of society and amusement, because the elder may not have the means or inclination to marry early. The lastborn has as good a right to the pleasures of youth as the first. And to be kept back on such a motive! I think it would not be very likely to promote sisterly affection or delicacy of mind."

there she goes, railing against the societal restraints of the time period, and in such an intellectual way that not many (besides lady catherine de bourgh) can argue her logic. i think jane austen had quite a bit of spunk herself. and to be spunky is a wonderful thing, as evidenced by beppe.

back to simple and relaxing life in toronto. a walk to the lake is in order, followed by reading, napping, and baking bread. mmmm. happy 2006 to anyone who happens upon my blog. = )

still snowing

Al and I (and 2 friends) arrived in Grand Rapids around 11:00 local time, and we left at 6:30 am SC time. 15 hours to GR. A new ridiculous record. We blame snow and ice and semi drivers shatting slush upon Ishta. Poor little Ishta. She is now 140,000 miles old! Dude, Al's car is old.

Tomorrow at this time, we will hopefully be in the Great White North (aka Toronto). I haven't been to Canada since I was 10! Hooray. A new adventure.

Ok, we are now going to watch Bridget Jones' Diary: The Edge of Reason. YES!!!!!!!!!!! We are staying with Al's friend Lindsey, who lives in a tiny studio apartment. Four of us will now be sleeping together on piles of Lindsey's clothes. Adventure!

The movie is starting, so I must leave.

Oh: Highlights of the trip:

1. Belting out "Colors of the Wind" with Al
2. Listening to Lindsey's 20 yr old fiance go on....and on....and on...about cars and computers. Gag me with a fork. Hey, Alden! = )
3. Taking random pictures!
4. Sliding on snow....in the car
5. Eating homemade sandwiches in a Subway restaurant

silence

Merry Christmas, all!

Eeek. Sometimes I wish I lived away from home so the holidays would feel more special than what they actually do. I love going to church on Christmas, but then coming home feels so empty and everyday. I don't know if it's the commercialism that has torn the family structure apart or what...

You know what I don't like about Xanga sites? They want you to tell what music/movie/book you are currently engaged in....but they assume you should be engaged in one of these things. Whatever happened to good ol' silence? Don't get me wrong--I love music and movies, but I don't think we should be so afraid of the silence.

Those are things I don't like. Things I do like (especially noticed today):

1. Maroon pants...especially when Beppe and I are both wearing them
2. Playing duets on the piano with Al and with Beppe
3. Dad's guffawing laugh during funny movies
4. Mom's mashed potatoes (can I get a witness?)
5. Falling asleep while reading excellent books
6. My Precious Moments sleeping bag turned blanket (kitsch but memorable)
7. Bacardi Silver Raz
8. Being happily surprised at my grades
9. Talking with teachers who were mere students at this time last year
10. Singing the Hallelujah Chorus on a crowded platform with 100 Covenanters and visitors, peeking over Jo Faber's shoulder to even see a score
11. Caroling with an inter-generational group of Covenanters at the nursing home
12. Oreo balls
13. Thinking about the fun classes I'm taking next semester
14. Golf with Beppe
15. Tickling Al
16. Comfy socks
17. Cheese
18. De-icer
19. Water
20. A good old book

That's it for today. I think I will start making a list like this each time I post. It's good stuff. Merry Christmas, and see y'all in a couple of weeks!

merry christmas

oh, my nephews. they are the cutest. today, landon tried to launch himself out of his little crib--he is becoming extremely mobile. and dillan forced me to do exercises with him. my beppe is here today, too, and my immediate family. we're hanging out and playing games and opening presents after tonight's candlelight service. hooray for traditions! here are my adorable nephews....

this week, a member of my family went to the grocery store 6 times. i myself went 4 times. insane! but necessary, i suppose, during the holiday week. the result? a very full fridge and covered countertops! and wally will grow, but what else is new?

my pake passed away in may, and we've acquired many pictures of when he and beppe and their two boys were young. pake was a debonair, handsome guy....check him out with his two boys! my dad is the older kid on the left. the other picture was taken right after pake and beppe got engaged. they have the most wonderful stories! someday i hope i have as many great memories as they do. for those of you whose grandparents are still living, find out their stories while you can. they'll mean a lot to you in the future.

well, ok...the pictures didn't want to come up. i'll try to put them on later. until then, have a merry christmas with your loved ones!

a secret revealed

In the midst of shopping for lotion for my dear Beppe, I was attacked by several overwhelmingly perfumed and sluttily clad Victoria's Secret saleswomen, begging me to "Buy 6 for $30! You only got 2 bottles of lotion? Well, you can get a third for only $4 more!" I explained several times that I only needed 2 bottles of lotion. They were baffled ("like, some people don't put lotion over every inch of their body eighty-seven times a day? omigosh!") But I suppose the excessive smells deaden their already weak brain cells.

So I explained to them, "No, I don't want to open a charge account at Victoria's Secret, dang it! You objectify women and force on me the idea that I can't be happy unless I'm wearing eleven different lotions simultaneously, all of them titled something whorish like "Pure Seduction" or 'Erotic Peppermint' (meh, I made that one up. But I'm sure it will be hitting the shelves soon). Oh, and by the way, you guys SUCK at keeping secrets, because Victoria ain't wearing a thing!"

I didn't really say all this (well, not out loud, anyway). I bit my cheek and hypocritically wished the mentally incapacitated saleswoman a Merry Christmas.

I don't know how to end this ridiculously dramatic post the way I would like to without being sacriligious. But whatever happened to Jesus? Once again, we've forgotten. Our brain cells are deadened by Amber Romance and Sexy something or other. It's happened to me again this year and it took a crew of objectified women (who make me wish I was not a woman) quoting sale prices to realize it.

this one's for you

Well, I made it. I have survived my first year of legal age and lived to my 22nd birthday. And I will turn 22 in approximately 3 minutes, at 10:22. Sweet. I have gotten many birthday emails already, and a big birthday present from my parents (a shopping trip yesterday). I bought very weird stuff (well, weird for me...I think I like most of it). Now I must go find Heather, then go bake a cake with my SISTER who is here now! Yea, Al!

I like birthdays.

keeping the update updated

Notes on break thus far:

1. Yesterday, I got up very early and accompanied Leah to Omaha with a vanful of Dordt students heading home. The ride was highly entertaining, especially when we roared through a red light, attracting the eyes of many'a driver. And let me just say that Arby's lost out on at least 10 bucks by not opening their doors when our faces were plastered to the glass. McDonald's wins (it's the apocalypse!). Dang little egg and cheese biscuits.

2. I have been watching entirely too much of That 70's Show.

3. My parents like having me live with them again, although they're getting used to saying, "We'll leave the light on for you!"

4. I have to wrap Christmas presents and finish unpacking. Why is it that when I have all the time in the world, I get less done? Time is a funny, annoying, and arbitrary phenomenon.

5. Today I get to babysit my nephews, who are sick during this prime flu & cold season. This is the test, folks...can Andrea hack it?

6. Jazzy Christmas music is the sweetest.

7. My guitar is so out of tune that my ears dove inside my head to avoid the noise (and yes, it could be the player as much as the guitar).

8. Pianos are soothing.

9. In my younger days, I started writing a plethora of cheesy and sappy romance stories, which are very entertaining to read 5, 10, even 12 years later.

10. It's almost 1:00 in the afternoon, and I'm still in my pajamas and slippers.

I feel very lazy. It's a good thing I'm getting put to work over break.

ten hours

I've only been free for 10 hours and I'm already bored...and I will miss sleeping with girls.

doing drugs

Fessler told me I'd have to be on drugs to not get an A in the class. And my exam went pretty well. 1 down, 3 to go. It's all downhill from here...take that however you wish.