i heart my roommates

These are my roommates. I heart them.

Today and yesterday and the day before I did nothing. Like, no homework or studying or anything. I have come to the conclusion that I am a very lazy student. And I will be relatively lazy this week as well. Hooray for mediocrity! Ok, not really. I will do my best, but I just won't do it until the last minute. Today I had my roommates over for dinner because I had never invited all of them at once (which saddens and embarrasses me). And happily, they were themselves, which terrified my neighbors. So, roommates, I heart you. And I shall miss sleeping with you.

don't know just what to do with myself

My dead week is actually dead. I'm amazed and pleased. And people hate me for it. Just remember that this is already my tenth semester of taking classes at Dordt, and I have two more left.

All anyone talks to me about is how busy they are. And it's really annoying, because that's not even valid. Everyone is busy. It's not something to brag about. Whiners.

I'm stupid. If you see me today, slap me. You may not have the chance again. This offer is only valid for April 27, but don't worry. It will be back.

david garrick

Takin' a break from my term paper. I had 8 pages done three weeks ago, and now I need to revise and get it to at least 10 pages. Tonight. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: God has a malicious sense of humor. Two absolutely gorgeous days in a row, resulting in decreased motivation (can one be in negative motivation?), just when I need it the most. But I am bound and determined to be done with this paper at 11:30...at least for tonight. I can always get up early in the morning and finish it.

Pastor Herm made a reference to Robin Hood tonight in church, and Paul was sitting next to me. I felt famous.

special olympicizing

Today I helped with the Special Olympics for class. The weather was beautiful, and the people were fun. And I got sunburned, of course, because I'm a fair lady. My favorite person was a man named Keith who had about 100 people cheering him on in the 100m dash because he was getting us all pumped for it 3 1/2 hours early. He was entertaining. Good times. Y'all should volunteer for something like that sometime, because it's a big deal and it's fun to help and watch.

Yea, beautiful weather! Boo, homework. The thorn in my flesh.

Well, I'm obviously not saying anything important here, which is my signal to sign off and do something productive like take a nap.

i'm a frappucino...and i don't even like coffee

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

the carrot's gonna dangle for at least another year

I decided that God is crazy and mysterious.

I got a job as a summer hostess at Dordt. Not only am I not working maintenance, I am employed as well! Double bonus. Huge weight off my shoulders. And better yet, I get to live with my crazy fun evil twin buddy Lauralee in Southview all summer! I think Heather would have done a great job, too...Student Services is a little sucky with communication. I love you, Heather! I wouldn't want anyone else sleeping on top of me. = ) I hope Lauralee and I don't get bored. The job sounds like it could get boring. But at least it will not be maintenance boring. And there will be tons o' fun people around, and I hope we have a quality summer together.

And I got a haircut. It's really short, but I love it. It's easy and different and tomboyish/stylin', which is a nice, flexible combination. Sorry, no pictures at the moment, sister.

rising like the morning sun

Today felt a little weird. After a week of intensely warm and sunny weather, Easter was a cool, rainy day. I don't think I want to complain, because last year it was snowing Easter morning. Usually Easter is my favorite holiday. But this week, I didn't get to go to the Maundy Thursday service, and I played horn for the Good Friday chapel, and I played horn and sang in church this morning. I love playing horn and singing. But it makes losing focus very easy. I feel like I got robbed of Easter because I was too busy thinking about notes to let resurrection and grace sink in. And the church choir did not sing "Jesus is My Morning Sun", which we have sung for the past five years or so on Easter. It's kind of a cheesy Easter song, but I feel the joy when I hear the song. I don't know. How important are feelings and how important is commitment to faith? Can we still appreciate feelings without relying on them to tell us where we stand?

On the other hand, I got all my weekend homework done on Friday. I'm not sure I've ever accomplished that. It made car shopping yesterday much less stressful. After going to 10 different dealerships, I'm ready to kick back and not think about cars. Too many decisions to weigh here. Don't get me wrong, it was fun....especially when Dad and I got stuck in a sea of GMC pickups and SUVs and Dad likened them to the orcs in Lord of the Rings....as in, we were surrounded by evil.....

summer workin'

After all of my hard work applying to Village Northwest, they didn't realize I was only around for the summer. They wanted to hire me for a year-round position. Eek! I told them I was inquiring about a summer job. I could have saved a lot of work....and gotten a job on maintenance. Now I'm not sure I have a job on maintenance because they chose the crews today. Excuse me, but I have 3 years of experience here. Hopefully they kick out a newbie and give me my job back, because I actually know what I'm doing (and sadly, what I'm doing is maintenance). I should have applied at a camp.

winding down

This picture is from our theatre history course. Last week we had to dress up in romantic and classic costumes (classics on left, romantics on right) and hold a debate on whose style is better. The romantics won, of course.

I can't believe it's April 8 already. In one month, I will be flying to Eastern Europe. Crazy. Spring is definitely here, and with its arrival the motivation goes. The sun is shining through my window right now and the weather is gorgeous! The projects and papers and tests seem so trivial in the face of the cycles of the earth. The world will keep turning whether I write a paper on spina bifida or not.

And it's Passion Week. I feel like Lent comes and goes and I hardly notice. I feel the Passion for about three days, and then the rest of the year, I go about my own business as if it's unrelated to the cross. It's a syndrome. And I want to get rid of it, but I'm not sure where to start.

To all of you who are reading this blog.....Go outside and enjoy the weather!

sometimes you just need to throw a frisbee

La de da. I love wandering through life, pretending that I don't have a pile of homework to do in the next week. It's so naive of me. But it's wonderful.

another week, another chance

This is my wonderful roommate, Heather (aka Crutchy), and myself hangin' out in San Francisco over break. I like Heather. She is my same height...that is neat!

Jack Johnson is hammocky, according to roommate Sarah.

This weekend was mildly productive! I wrote 8 pages for my theatre history paper, and it only took me about 7 hours. That's gotta be some kind of record for me. And I even got some other homework done, read a book, went to a concert, a play, worked out, and watched 3-4 movies. I don't know how I did it. But I did. Actually, I have to finish my homework yet tonight because I've been rewarding myself too much. Whoops. Oh, well.

Today marked another misty, cold, and dreary day. But it wasn't too bad. I like misty weather. The cool spray on my face, the wet feet in flip-flops....you know, this kind of rain is necessary to produce beautiful green grass and buds on the trees and flowers. So it's all worth it.

Can't you see that it's just rainin? There ain't no need to go outside....pretend like it's the weekend....

I've been talking to lots of people about post-grad jobs and other summer activities. And it's weird, because my class is graduating this year. Thankfully, many of my friends are either staying for another semester/year or they're younger than me. But it hasn't hit me yet that in five weeks, a large percentage of people that I have known at Dordt for four years will be moving on with their lives. Life can be so scary...like jumping out of a plane without knowing for sure if the parachute will work. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving's not for you.

But we still have five weeks. Heck, I have another year. And it's Monday. Another week, another chance. We had a wonderful guest minister this morning at Covenant. He was from the Back to God Hour...a French-speaking African. He was funny and blunt and full of truth. He made a point about Son-bathing....if we soak in Christ's light, we should look different to other people. They should be able to tell by the way we look that we are walking in the light of God. Siyahumba!

Well, back to the paper. If this be treason, make the most of it.

happy of the day

Amusing story. Today I was sitting in the Grille talking about how full my Groupwise storage always is and how I have to delete important messages in order to have enough space in my mailbox. Amy told me I should delete my "Sent" messages, because they take up a lot of space. I didn't realize that "Sent" messages took up room. I thought, "Ok, I've never deleted my sent messages in the five years I have had a Groupwise account. I bet that would give me more room!"

So tonight, in avoidance of my homework, I began deleting some of my sent messages. I did twenty at a time (clicking each box individually), reading through a few I thought would be amusing (they were). Rosh and Lynnea came to talk to me, and Lynnea showed me how to select a whole page at a time. So I began deleting 200 at a time, using the mass-click method.

I'm not making a dent. I'm still in messages from December 2005.

Along comes Amy, who laughs at me as I'm deleting 200 puny messages at a time. She shows me how to open Groupwise Messenger and delete the ENTIRE folder at once. So I delete the whole folder, and we laugh at my incompetence. Then we see the number of messages in the trash.

There were 4,086.

We went into convulsions, and then went for a 10-minute walk while the trash purged itself. I think I need to start writing letters.

assessing life

Ahhhh, Assessment Day. This may actually be the first Assessment Day where I have actually been assessed. And it felt like all those ITBS tests we took in grade school...I always get nervous during these tests, especially during the reading comprehension sections. I usually think I'm missing something. Today I wanted to do badly just to make Dordt look bad, and then Bob Wiersma pointed out that my parents' livelihood is dependent on Dordt. And I want my inheritance. = )

Last night, the cast of Jane Eyre got all decked out and went to Spezia's in Sioux Falls for a good time. We looked good. And the drippy candles combined with the color-me! tablecloth was fun. I ate some bread with oil and balsamic vinegar and had fruity alcoholic slush (much to the disappointment of the underage thespians) before eating some Caesar salad pizza. The company was amusing and full of convivial jollity. I'm still missing the play.

Another dreary day. I can't take it much longer. I'm ready to have some sunshine.

musica

Taken from Sarah Jo, modified by Ralph:


1. Choose an artist/band.
Caedmon's Call

2. Are you male or female?
Beautiful Mystery

3. Describe yourself.
Hope to Carry On

4. What do some people think you are like?
Never Gonna Let Go

5. How do you feel about yourself?
Masquerade

6. Desribe where you want to be.
Coming Home

7. Describe how you live.
Not Enough

8. Describe how you love.
Mistake of My Life

9. What would you ask for if you had one wish?
Awake My Soul

10. Share a few words of wisdom.
Valleys Fill First

11. Where do you live?
This World

12. Say goodbye.
There You Go


Caedmon's Call has good songs for this game! I might have to play again with a different band. I feel creative. Not creative enough to write lesson plans or a term paper, unfortunately. I think my bed is calling me....

life (shake fist)

I hate life when suck gets in the way.


Tonight's choir concert was bittersweet. I loved the singing, but it reminded me of happier times. The final Praise to the Lord outside was too much. It's one thing to feel sad about the end of something, but it's another thing to feel angry. I guess I'm not sure how to describe the way I feel....but angry will do for now. And I'm sick of being angry. I've spent three years of my life being angry and I want to be done with it.

Thank you to the girls who made me laugh tonight. I still feel a little dirty......

Here are some pictures from tour.


1. Josh and I at a beautiful Colorado rest area. 2. Amy, Joelle, Carolyn, Jon, and Marcus: excited at a stop in sunny California!
3. Amy and I want OFF the bus!
4. Tour buddies (on the bus, of course!)

my cup overflows

Today was littered with tears yet full of unexpected happiness. All day I struggled with losing out on a great relationship, but everywhere I went, I met up with understanding people who gave me what I needed and more. Hugs and baked potatoes from Mom, Dutch bingo from Dad, conversations with Lauralee and Josh, hug and brownie offer from Hjon, love from Amy, and a good lectio session with Sam, Becca, and Matt involving a little P&W, wonderfully enormous fruit, and funny poop stories. Yes, I'm easily amused.

I do not understand God's ways, or the ways of men (and when I say men, I am being gender specific). But I know that when I'm just about to hit rock bottom, God sends some grace and fills my cup. In my 3.75 years of college, I have experienced more ups and downs than I thought possible. But I'm still alive.

Hallelujah! Grace, like rain, falls down on me.

There's a road ahead; I can feel it. But I'm making headway. Blessings to all.

up against a wall

I have the China syndrome again. My heart aches and there's nothing that can fix it, because I have no control over the situation. I got back from an insane choir tour about an hour ago, and now I am sitting here trying to keep my mind off of the difficult events of the past four days. Why did I let my walls down? Why do I get so emotionally involved in things? It was amazing...but now it's over and I can't change it. And my heart hurts...right above the empty, sinking pit in my stomach.

the night is here

Omaha was sweet. I enjoyed the time off school, although I'm screwed in terms of homework for the next week. The singing went well, and in spite of his nervous shaking, Dr. K did a great job, too. I really felt inspired by the music. Then we went to a couple of individual choir concerts (the National Lutheran Choir is amazing!) and the Peace Event, which was spiritual but not religious. The music was wonderful, but the words did not really fit my beliefs. Cool experience, however. Fun with singing, food, and friends. F-U fun!

We had another performance of Jane Eyre tonight. I found getting back into the show somewhat difficult, but the performance was good. My parents and roommates came...they are wonderful!

I shall now endeavor to sleep in preparation for the incredibly long day tomorrow. Have a good one, y'all.

go here. it's a fun distractor. i'm a wolf!

http://www.reincarnationstation.com/

how i feel

this picture is actually from my birthday in December (eating the delicious four-layer chocolate and cream cheese with oreo cake), but i needed a picture expressing how i felt today! i was wired as soon as i saw becky at chapel today. i got so excited for opening night...and all day i felt like i was on cloud nine. this has been my favorite dordt play, i think because of the small cast. the dynamics are so different with a smaller cast. i look forward to the next 5 performances. for those of you who live around here, you must come see jane eyre if for no other reason than to see a human puppy and a madwoman. and the costumes. and rochester's perm. hmmmm. just come for it all.