confessions

i must confess right away that i'm blogging because it's a new month. i get pretty excited about new months. it's like new year's, except it's new month's. now i can see the new number at the top of my blog (4.2.10) i like chances to start over, and a new month seems to be a good time to do that.

and what better way to start off a new month than with easter weekend? i really enjoy this time of year, although i have another confession to make. my mind hasn't been in the lenten spirit this year. it's strange, considering philip and i are on the worship planning team. i attribute my mindset to the lack of tradition i'm experiencing. sometimes i think tradition is a bunch of bunk, but other times it truly feeds me. in the case of the liturgical church year, it feeds me. philip and i usually attend the early service at our church, which for lack of a better explanation, is the "contemporary" service. i've been through my phases with worship: growing up with hymns, experiencing the 90's praise and worship phase, turning back to hymns and their solid text and beautiful harmonies...and then back to the praise and worship setting. i love hymns; don't get me wrong, but our 8:30 service is praise and worship done well. huge difference. anyway, i still love hymns, but i'm finding my heart opening up more and more in beautiful guitar/piano/drums/vocals.

but during lent...well, i crave the tradition. i want to hear the familiar lenten hymns of sorrow and lament. i want to walk the lenten road, and i feel like i've experienced church services with too much joy. the services have been done incredibly well, yet i'm missing the sorrow of Christ's death.

i think tonight will cure that. our good friday service is tonight, and besides the fact that we're not having communion (which is strange to me after growing up attending maundy thursday celebrations), i'm looking forward to this service.

today, philip and i decided to fast and read scripture since we both had the day off. this brings me to my third and final confession for today...my fast only lasted until 11:30. my husband was cruel and baked bread. i also found out that i get extremely crabby when i'm hungry and at home. so i broke the fast and truly enjoyed the warm homemade baguette with cheese and butter. i'm disappointed that i didn't make it all day, but i don't feel like the day has been wasted at all.

"With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, "Surely this man was the Son of God!"
-Mark 15:37-39