someday joelle will return

Oh, delightful weather! How I love thee! I had a nice chat about the fine weather with the guy from Fareway who carried out my groceries for me. By the way, how cool is the grocery courtesy thing? That's not really a question; it's a vociferous statement with inappropriate punctuation behind it....but if I ended the sentence with an exclamation point, I would get chewed on by my English people.

For supper tonight I made vegetable soup with little letters; mine spelled 'Rob.' I'm not sure what that means, except that it may refer to Sarah's newly acquired pin-up boy. We also had corn, biscuits, and a wet roommate (but we decided to let her go before we ate her. She was grateful).

Newsies! Happy movie! I listened to the soundtrack as I pretended to cook this afternoon. It makes me tap dance.
Pulitzer may own The World but he don't own us!
Pulitzer may crack the whip but he won't whip us!

Joelle was not in class this morning, but she was supposed to be. I'm worried about her...maybe Fargo, North Dakota captured her and will not release her until it receives an exhorbitant amount of beaver pelts for ransom. Be-ey!

Enough sitting around doing nothing except blogsurfing. It is time I go to the library and read about French theatre until 1700 (that's the title, not how long I have to read it. If I had to read until 1700, I would be reading for a very long time). Stupid ambiguous clauses.



these are the ones for today, in somewhat chronological order:

1. wearing a favorite old comfy shirt
2. sunlit frost on the trees and grass against a bright blue sky
3. reading wonderful books in Children's Lit and discovering in myself a desire to be an artistic child again
4. no theatre class due to ACTF, therefore I got to eat at noon and have a lovely discussion on marital relationships with occupants of D6 and F3
5. remembering the excitement of being an idealistic education student
6. walking quickly to the BJH in wonderful anticipation of playing piano and letting my cares slide away through my fingers
7. giggling with my fellow horns in band and getting complimented on my old comfy shirt
8. eating sticky rice with chili with my roommates (I wasn't eating my roommates, I was eating WITH them...gosh)
9. reading Charlotte's Web...for homework! Dude! How cool is that?
10. feeding my emotional being with Win a Date With Tad Hamilton...I consider myself well fed!
11. having a dad who will bring me my forgotten tennis shoes when I have a soccer game in 10 minutes
12. an amazingly painful yet refreshing game of indoor soccer in which I played keeper and didn't completely suck
13. coming home to roommates that I love!

These are just for today. And I know I left a bunch out. I think I may try to post a thanksgiving list more often so I don't become grumpy in my old age. I hope a list like this will bring a smile to other faces as well.

And now I will stretch before I die of stiffness.



Do you ever feel used by people? They only become your friends for their own ulterior motives, and when they get what they want, they stop acting like a friend? I would have guessed we would leave these kinds of friendships back in junior high, but here I am, a senior in college, and they are still here, still causing frustration and hurt. Some days I just want to bury myself in bed and never face the world again. But then I have times where I feel connected to others; we understand one another, and even though life can suck, it can be good, too. So we continue to push on through the suckiness.

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on
And we're still fightin' it
We're still fightin' it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry.

I never liked rollercoasters when I was little. I stuck to the carousels...the simple, predictable, and safe round and round. Finally, when I was ten, my aunt and uncle dragged me on the Orient Express at Worlds of Fun. (They regretted it when they saw how green I was on the steep incline before the plunge.) I despised it. And then I avoided roller coasters for years. Once I got to high school, I tried the tamer roller coasters (a few ups and downs, but no corkscrews or twists). I kept wishing that I was brave enough to try the scary ones, but I would chicken out before my friends could get me to the front of the line. Then, when I was 20 years old, I worked up the courage to get on a mountaintop corkscrew rollercoaster in the Smoky Mountains. I screamed "Shit!" the whole time...but I went back three more times before the day was over, reliving the terror of the endless climb, the dark plunge, the flash of light, and the upside-down suspension.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going through life screaming "Shit!" I can only hope it will be worth the ride.


there's gotta be something more

more than school, more than routine, more than competition and callousness. why do we settle for less? we could reach beyond ourselves but we don't. we insist on staying in our own little worlds, content to post meaningless chatter on technological bulletin boards. does anyone really care what is on these posts? they are not worth the trouble they cause. and yet, we hope that people stumble across our words and find something worthwhile and attractive in them. pretense.

i think that's why i love pride and prejudice...it challenges the pretense of character and exposes people for who they really are through time and experience. each time i watch pride and prejudice (the real one), i fall in love with it. elizabeth bennet is unassuming, rational, calm, and collected in everything she says and does. no one walks all over her...she has spunk. yet there is a genuine kindness and intellect in her spirit; she wants to do the right thing. i admire her for being who she is. too bad i can't be as eloquent as jane austen has allowed miss eliza bennett to be:

"Yes, my youngest [sister] is not sixteen. Perhaps she is full young to be much in company. But really, ma'am, I think it would be very hard upon younger sisters, that they should not have their share of society and amusement, because the elder may not have the means or inclination to marry early. The lastborn has as good a right to the pleasures of youth as the first. And to be kept back on such a motive! I think it would not be very likely to promote sisterly affection or delicacy of mind."

there she goes, railing against the societal restraints of the time period, and in such an intellectual way that not many (besides lady catherine de bourgh) can argue her logic. i think jane austen had quite a bit of spunk herself. and to be spunky is a wonderful thing, as evidenced by beppe.

back to simple and relaxing life in toronto. a walk to the lake is in order, followed by reading, napping, and baking bread. mmmm. happy 2006 to anyone who happens upon my blog. = )