tell me about commitment and i shudder with fear

I feel trapped by my job. Every hour of the day is open for someone to call us, which means one of us always has to be near our apartment. And it sucks. I can't even live for the weekend, because weekends are the busiest. There's nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not being able to have plans to leave the dang apartment. Well, there may be a few things that are worse. Like wearing a wig made out of peanuts in a room of hungry, deranged African elephants.
All I want to do is go away for the weekend....camping, visiting my grandmother, seeing Al, or even just going to my house. And I can't escape. I hate it. I miss the hours I worked for maintenance, because I didn't have to bring my job home with me. Here, my home and my job are synonymous. THERE IS NO ESCAPE. I don't always hate the job, but I hate feeling trapped by something. It's the same way with me and relationships (with guys, friends, and God). I am incapable of committing myself to something without leaving myself an out...an escape.
I just want to be free.


when your best just isn't good enough

if we get one more knock on our door or one more phone call requesting something stupid (such as "Can we borrow your parents' lawnmower so we can mow a baseball diamond in the Dordt soccer field?") i am going to seriously kick some ass and then quit.


in pain right now...

...thanks to this chica. she dragged me on a six-mile bike ride tonight, after the worst day of work ever. of course, we needed the time to reconcile, even though she was a hundred feet ahead of me the whole ride. a hint: never work with your spouse....living and working together is great until neither of you get sleep and you have to face evil customers all day. and while lauralee and i aren't married, we're hitting on some pretty specific aspects of marriage (such as arguing over who does the dishes, reminding each other of dentist appointments, and yelling "WHAT????" very rudely when we can't hear each other). ahhh, commitment.


finally, as promised.....

more europe pictures...see below

steady rain

Anyone else see the fantastic rainbow tonight? Wow. I love Sioux Center when it rains, especially when the sun peeks out for a few minutes before going to sleep. You can't see sunsets like that in mountain regions.

Since I promised, here are some pictures from Europe and one from living with Lauralee.


i hear the train a'comin'

An update:

I watched Walk the Line last night. It was excellent. I played tennis with Phil on Sunday and almost beat him. It was excellent. I was mean and crabby yesterday. It was not excellent. Europe pictures of the excellent nature are coming. Seriously. I have one hour left of 'work' today. This, too, is excellent.