I have been single most of my life. And recently, I have been experiencing the "everyone in the world is dating/engaged/married except for me" syndrome. It sucks. Because even though I'm happy being single, I feel as though I shouldn't be happy. Sure, I want to get married someday, but I feel so far behind everyone else. I found out this past weekend that FOUR MORE of my high school classmates recently had babies. What the crap????
Is this all there is? I was searching for apartments online today and I drifted into the personal ads just to look (JUST to look). And there were a ton of ads! Some of them were funny, many were creepy, most had lazy spelling (which I cannot stand) and one of them stuck out more than the others: "Married man, 40, seeking married woman to cheat."
Now I am commitment-phobic and I understand why marriage is a tough thing...you can't always go with your feelings. Often you just have to stick with your promises you made on your wedding day. But just because I'm a commitment-phobe does not mean I don't believe in marriage. I do. Completely. And it makes me sick to think about people openly cheating. No wonder I'm freaked out about marriage when everywhere around me there are signs of failed marriages.
And yet there are signs of good marriages everywhere, too. Most people I am in close contact with are in successful relationships. Not that any of them are perfect. At all. But these people commit themselves. They promise to stick by each other through everything, even when they don't feel the same love they felt 5, 15, or 50 years earlier.
So--I don't know what my conclusion is. I'm not sure what my point is. I guess I just want to know that someday I will be able to fully commit myself to someone in spite of all the scary things that may come our way. And until then, I am drifting in the sometimes lonely but content realm of singularity.
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october sunrise at ebenezer
thoughts from a teacher and a girl far from home
october sunrise at ebenezer
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12 comments:
Think about it this way: as a young single person, you have the freedom to do what you want, go where you want, and be friends with who you want. And I detest lazy spelling, too. Especially when my students lapse into MSN spelling. That gets my goat. :)
Enjoy being single! Don't let other people make you sad about it.... spoken from a fellow single chicky ;)
And yes, the dress is for the Kendra/ Nate affair. I am pretty excited :D You can be the judge :)
Yikes! Which four of our classmates have had babies now? That is crazy!
yes, i too want to know which classmates had kids. I also wanted to tell you that i could write a book on this topic. But i have made some desisions about bieng single this last month. one: i like it and i like the freedom.
two: i wish i had some one to enjoy the freedom with....
three: i do not wish to date random people.
four: dating is awkward, i want to have a best friend and marry them instead!
five: i am scared shit-less of marrige!
have a good day!
i have felt your pain for the past few years :) you will get used to it
Go have a beer.
thom: here's to gettin' hitched, eh spaceghost?
spaceghost: yeah, let's all drink til our hearts stop.
I've been single all my life. And it's a strange dichotomy here in that in the Christian realm the high school friends have boyfriends or are married, but in my work circle, no one's really dating anybody. It's just weird around high school friends, because theyre ALL married or seriously dating. But I would rather be around dordt married folks than these peoples any day of the week.
I'd have to agree with both Rachel and anonymous . . . in fact, I'll take you out for the beer in July. What say?
Dude, you should feel special. I'm posting from PERU.
I say the worst is when everyone starts asking, "Are you seeing anyone?" "Anyone special at Dordt for you?" Or trying to have a not baby/marriage related conversation with one of those friends from high school.
I have another thing to say. It's very strange to have a community that's made up of family units, dating units, and be outside of those two circles. Like a venn diagram, only you're outside both circles
one of the reasons i love the big city (of toronto) is that here lots of people my age are single. most of my friends, in fact. they're 24, 26, 29, and single. which means that i no longer feel (as strongly, at least) the same kind of pressure to date and marry that i felt in small town northwest iowa.
however...someday.
i hope.
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