I listened to Switchfoot this morning. It reminds me of driving to Rock Valley very early in the morning for my 60-hour practicum. "This is your life; are you who you wanna be?"
I think I'm on my way to becoming who I want to be but have always been scared of being. Each morning I wake up and find things to love about my new surroundings, but it's much more work than waking up at home in Sioux Center. I know I won't be able to see the people I've seen so often for my whole life, and that makes me sad. But then I meet other people who are wonderful and I feel confirmed in being here. Yet I'm a little lonely.
I have a feeling I will love my job and I will love my kids. I just need to get into the groove. I hate not being able to watch the Twins game with my dad (these sickos out here all cheer for the Mariners!) and I hate not being able to get a hug from my mother and I hate not being able to run across the alley and hang out with Phil and the other guys next door. I hate the cloudy weather and seeing all kinds of families spending time together because I'm jealous.
I love walking on our cushy living room carpet. I love my pink shower. I love the Febreze smell in my bathroom. I love being able to say, "I'm Andrea De Jong. I'm the new teacher at Ebenezer" and hear the response, "Oh, wonderful! I've heard about you! I/my kids/grandkids went to Ebenezer and it's just like one big family!" I loved getting a phone call from one of my students' dads yesterday and being greeted as "Miss De Jong." I love that the weather is not unbearably hot and that right now, I'm wearing jeans and a sweater. I love feeling independent and knowing that I chose this place and this job and that God wants me here and He will bless me.
I'm not sure the loves outweigh the hates yet, but I'm not feeling intensely homesick. I can function. I have people to talk to. I have a purpose here. I miss you all and hate the thought that many of you will be together at Dordt without me in a couple of weeks, but I recognize that this is my life right now. I'm capable of changing it and accepting the changes God brings my way.
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october sunrise at ebenezer
thoughts from a teacher and a girl far from home
october sunrise at ebenezer
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9 comments:
You forgot "I love being only a 10-hour drive from my sister rather than an 18-hour drive" and "I love being able to see Mt. Baker out my window" and "I love the thought that Orcas Island, my favorite island in the WHOLE WORLD is only a short few miles away!"
Love you. :)
Have I told you lately that I love you and am proud of you? Just in case it's been awhile -- know that I do!
Enjoy the cooler temps there -- Iowa is hot and sticky right now and for the near future. This morning the outside was literally a sauna, the moisture gathering on my glasses as I walked because the mist was so thick! Visibility was pretty poor too! One plus -- tomorrow Dad is going to have to mow the lawn for the first time since early July.
Love you!
Mom
I miss you coming across the alley and visiting me and the other guys too! But I think the loves are going to vastly outnumber the hates. Its only been a week, and look how far you've come!! How wonderful is it gonna be once you get settled in?
Ooh, I love "The Bronze Bow." That would be a great option. You still need to read "The View from Saturday," though! I love you, too, sisturr. :)
Clearly you forgot to say I love not having to clean my brothers house and having to say things like, "it would have been a good day too, if it wasn't for those pesky kids (nephews)".
Trav
Come on, come on. You are excited to hang out with some people right?? I know a guy who is heading out there in a week who will need some support too. word. I'm coming next wednesday the 22nd.
A new life is hard, but you will fit into it soon. And even though you won't stop missing home, you will start having more loves than hates.
*Hug. Nuzzle. Squeeze.
How is it that you rate a comment from Trav, while he has NEVER commented on my blog? *sniff*
and you forgot...
"I love that most of the people I miss are only a phone call away!" I miss you, too...call me whenever! Also, send me your postal address, I might go all postal on you ;) Love ya!!
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