up against a wall

I have the China syndrome again. My heart aches and there's nothing that can fix it, because I have no control over the situation. I got back from an insane choir tour about an hour ago, and now I am sitting here trying to keep my mind off of the difficult events of the past four days. Why did I let my walls down? Why do I get so emotionally involved in things? It was amazing...but now it's over and I can't change it. And my heart hurts...right above the empty, sinking pit in my stomach.