family pictures

Joelle (Meg), Andrea (Marmee), Emily (Amy), Sarah (SM)
Jeremiah (Laurence), Garry (March), Jacob (Brooke)
Beth (Jo) and Becky (Prudence) help Joelle with her hair
Jo & Marmee: We're the same person!
Andrea & Sarah
Joelle & Andrea: awkwardness at Perkins
Paul (Dashwood) and Kenny (Meeks)
Justine (HM) and Paul. Ahem.

you're not losing me...underneath the moon I'll be the beam

Wow...it's been awhile. Of course, things are very busy here, since tonight Little Women opened. My last opening night ever (tear). It went quite well, but I'm looking forward to improving in the next four performances.

I really do love this cast. I feel very maternal towards most of the freshmen, and it's a good feeling. I do think I'm a nurturer at heart, as much as I hate the stereotype. Each night when I walk home from New World Theatre, I think about how much I love the people and then I get sad. I don't want to leave it all behind.

I love you all and miss you already.

time to dream and time to sleep

Loooooong practice today. Eek. Quite exhausting, frankly. And I missed the 60-degree weather. Yes, 60 degrees. But I think we made good progress, which is good since we open in 9 days. Double eek.

I am now sitting in my Comfort Inn room in Pella, awaiting a day with extended family members and trying to remember that I don't need to impress them. Always a struggle. Has anyone else noticed how boring and un-cozy (yes, I made up that word) hotel rooms really are? And they're supposed to be like a home away from home. Hmm.

I rode down with my brother, sis-in-law, and nephews. And I was embarrassed when my 5-year-old nephew had to tell me what a condor was. He's a little too smart for his own good...

Profound thought of the day: I've been catching glimpses of heaven lately. You know when things are so good that your heart aches because you know they can't last? Someday they'll last. Someday.

still fightin' it

I'm trying to write a paper on Dada. And its nihilism is depressing me. I need to stop complaining about writing this 10-pager and just do it. Justine, can I get a witness?

Last night was NC/DC. Jonathon and Joelle both made finals, of course, and Jonathon won. He sang the hell out of the Josh Groban song. Wowza. And then my car was graced with the star's presence on the way back to Phil's. I don't think I should sell it anymore...it's worth too much.

By the way, I'm selling my little Maizie and buying my parents' Focus, so if anyone wants a bright green Geo that's perfect for a college student, lemme know.

Tuesday we're having a Jane Eyre reunion (minus Laurel....and TJ and Andrea, who are leaving for break). I think it will be glorious. I miss the camaraderie from Jane Eyre, although Little Women is pretty special, too.

I need to go to bed before 4 am on the weekends. I have to grow up soon and be a responsible adult.

red roses on the windowsill; to church we'll ride a sleigh

(my sister & i)

step to the fireside; you've come many miles
look at our jo there; see the way she smiles...

I have to learn #24 before practice tonight. I don't know it. At all.

I called both of my cooperating teachers and my principal in Lynden last night. Talking to them made me very excited to teach out there! I can't wait. But I found out that my second placement is at West Sioux High School, which will be a completely different game...I'm slightly terrified.

I got a flu shot today and now my arm hurts. Ouch.

I have a few things to do before Thanksgiving break. I won't list them because it'd be boring.

My sister is cool. She's older than me, but we're on the same level, G. Right?

This post is all about me. But it's my blog. Hee, hee.

blurb

*I'm terrified for Tuesday. I have to teach flatlining freshmen in English 200 and also call my principal at Lynden Christian. NERVOUS!

*Life can be confusing. Alcohol does not solve problems, but it can bring you closer to others. Having a drink to loosen up encourages excellent conversations.

*I hate looking at people my parents' age, seeing flaws, and feeling older than them as a result.

*What is true friendship? What does it look like? Is it merely hanging out with a person or people, or does there have to be some depth to the relationship?

*Crocheting with your eyes crossed is difficult.

*Heather and Rachel are really good artists.

*How can someone be sure they like someone and then be really sure they could never work out but still really like them? Give me an answer now.

*Not all freshmen are bad. I really enjoy the ones in Little Women.

*An initial stage kiss is awkward, especially when you're kissing your friend's husband and your friend is onstage with you...

And....count it!

my highlight of the day...

...was driving into Orange City and seeing the bank sign reading 77 degrees next to a newly-installed city Christmas wreath.

another good weekend gone

The weekends go by quickly. This semester is going by quickly. I don't think I'm ready to leave and student teach.
Friday night consisted of hitting, talking about sex and politics (not together), and drinking an iced mocha.
Saturday: lots of play practice, cast fun at Garry & Joelle's, comedy league, and the usual social gathering at the townhouse. I had a good talk with a friend...hopefully we've cleared up confusion. Can there ever not be confusion between men and women? Or maybe it's just people in general.
Sunday: should've gone for a walk instead of crocheting. Sang at the nursing home, where I had to lead everything because our usual leader was sick. Watched Over the Hedge at night. Lots of fun and happiness.
Tomorrow in choir: playing games with memorization which promise to be embarrassing.
If you're still reading this, you're a better friend than I thought.

P.S. I walked into the Bean this afternoon and did a double-take....Rosie was sitting at a booth chatting with Dengler! Lots of confused yelling and hugging ensued. Hooray for random surprises!

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Last night I was on an adrenaline kick thanks to a wonderful day. Wonderful. And utterly confusing. Eek, life.

This picture wouldn't download the other day. Hopefully it does now.
Yay, it did!
Happy weekend to all.

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the old hundredth

Yup, I've reached 100 blog entries. Hooray for me.

Holy crap...life is busy and the result is no meals or sleep for Andrea. Guys, I'm not sure I can make it to Perkins tonight. I might just go to bed. On the upside, I finished my grammar paper yesterday and now I have lots of intelligent things to say about teaching grammar in a classroom.

I played floor hockey today and almost died. My new theory: What doesn't kill you makes you wish it had.

days are rolling by

Top left: a nature picture from a random photography jaunt with Phil(ip)
Top right: some love from my B Haak
Bottom left: Bean-daters (does that make any sense at all, Heather?)
Bottom right: post-Price is Trite; Fez and his girls from the 40's, medieval era, and Roaring 20's

I met my Lynden host family this weekend when they came to see David for Parents' Weekend. They're great people....I hope living with them is good. I think it will be. 3 performances of the play down, 4 to go. I'm enjoying parts of the play. This past week, I reconnected with several friends who I don't see often anymore because of the commuting thing....props to Jason and the girls of SV 407. I'm coming back.

I'm now going to enjoy the gorgeous weather by napping with my shades open. And later I will breathe the fresh air as I walk to church. Blessings to all.

tonight's the night

we open tonight. people have asked me if i'm nervous, but i'm not. i have 2 hours of the show to warm up and then i get nervous right before i go onstage. and also when i stand center stage with bright lights bleaching my eyes because then i worry about being distracted by lights and people and forgetting my lines....but then i say "you never can tell. some people are just dumb enough...." and the rest is in the bag. hooray for spending 25 minutes onstage. it's quite fun. all the fun, little hassle. slug me now. don't worry; i'll get what's coming to me.

on tuesday, we had mass choir rehearsal. brad and i tried to belt out our duet over 150 voices. i hope it works tomorrow night.

time to sing. capture the unicorn!!!

a step forward is all i need

This morning I was putting on my makeup before dress rehearsal and I almost gave myself age lines. Then I stopped, thought for a minute, and remembered that I don't need age lines for this play. For the first time in over 2 years. Holy crap. In fact, after the costume parade, I was told to make myself even more feminine. Hooray! I get to be a powerful woman without traces of masculinity! Woman can be powerful all on their own. And don't you forget it.

beloved

Oh, computer. Why are you so slow?

This weekend I have been questioning my purpose again. I'm not sure I can hack it in the big old world. I'm excited and nervous to go to Lynden, but I wish I could just be excited and know that I will have a good experience there. I'm sure I will; I'm just worried about the homesickness bit and feeling as though I should really be a teacher. I worry that once I get out of this community I've grown up in, I won't be able to feel worthwhile or special, because I won't have a history with these people. I'll have to build everything from scratch. Sometimes it's too much work.
But a friend once told me this: "My worth is not based on what others think of me; my worth is based on God calling me His beloved."
I try to remember that...even though being praised by humans feels wonderful.
Brother David sent me pictures of his house/hometown today so I could get a feel for where I'll be living for six weeks next spring. I tried to post one, but my computer is slow. Maybe later.

recent thoughts that have been plaguing my head

random photo from Eurotour....Andrea sandwich!

I've been thinking lately about the transition I'm about to go through. Soon I will really be gone from Sioux Center, the place I've known for my entire life, and thrown into the big lonely world. I'm pretty terrified, but I'm pretending it's not about to happen. Or I'm trying to prepare myself but I'm not sure how. I don't know if I'll make friends or if I'll like the job I get (assuming I get a job) or where I'll get a job or if I'll find a church that I feel welcomed in or if I'll live alone or with someone else. Sometimes I wish I were married or at least dating someone....somehow the transition would be easier if I knew I weren't doing it alone. But maybe I'll end up being braver than the people who have someone to hang onto.

I'm not sure where I fit anymore. I don't belong at home, even though I live there....I spend as little time there as possible. I'm a floater...a drifter. I hope I can find a place that enfolds me and makes me feel the presence of God. A tall order, I know.

Sometimes trust doesn't feel like a big enough word to keep me going.

the end of an era

Well, I'm done with band forever. Weird. I thought I was done with band forever after high school, but then I ended up playing in community band every summer since and then I joined concert band last year. Last year band made life busy, but good, too. I'm glad I got to go to Europe and meet wonderful people. But I'm glad I played through the POPS concert. Last night was incredibly fun! And the horns actually won the costume contest because of our rockin' costumes!
Last night, the Bean hosted an informal student poetry reading. I read some stuff (not my own), and the atmosphere was fun. The highlight of the night was either when Jeriel taught me to salsa as we shared headphones from his MP3 player, or when Katy, Leesa, and I made up nasty limericks about Dordt men.
Tonight, Comedy League and a party celebrating Laura D's presence (my platypus!) A good weekend, I think.

worth a thousand words

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Now you know the worst
We humans have to know
About ourselves, and I am sorry

For I know that you will be afraid.
To those of our bodies given
Without pity to be burned, I know

There is no answer
But loving one another,
Even our enemies, and this is hard.

But remember:
When a man of war becomes a man of peace,
He gives a light, divine
Though it is also human.When a man of peace is killed
By a man of war, he gives a light.

You do not have to walk in darkness,
If you will have the courage for love,
You may walk in light.

It will be the light of those who have suffered
For peace. It will be your light.

--Wendell Berry, from A Timbered Choir: The Sabbath Poems

the Lord moves in mysterious ways; His wonders to perform

God has an interesting sense of humor. Audition results turned out much differently than I expected, but not really in a bad way. This time around, I feel very confident that God has bigger plans for me than I had for myself. If not, I'm building character right here and now.
Yet I'm curious: why is it that sometimes I feel capable of facing the unexpected, and sometimes I'm utterly terrified?
Well, today I feel capable. And I love rainy Saturdays. Especially when Mom's baking brownies.